Support?

In my search for answers over the last few years, I've stumbled across and joined a few rape related message boards. One of the things that I've found interesting and incredibly frustrating is the kind of 'support' so often offered as though it had any real benefit. Hundreds of times after someone posts a heart wrenching struggle they're dealing with, the responses will often state something along the lines of "If you ever want to talk, I'm here. Love you!" Wasn't the original post intended to talk? Right then? Right there?

No one expects us to have all the answers, but cheap love and pretend support isn't what any of us needs. We're all finding our way through this. Some are further along than others. Some of grasped something that will undoubtedly help someone else. Some have seen something in a way that the hurting haven't considered yet. These things need to be shared! Over and over again if necessary.

The bigger frustration is that when someone joins one of these boards and frankly, has the social ineptitude of a skunk, yet if someone calls them on their lousy attitude, filthy language (which happens to be a major trigger for many rape victims... most obviously because so many rapists use those words during the rape... duh..), or just plain rudeness to other posters, there are inevitably those that will come along and excuse their behavior. They immediately side with 'the rude one', claiming that their behavior needs to be overlooked because they were raped. So, let me get this straight... if you're a rape victim, you suddenly have free reign to be a jerk wherever you go? You were treated like garbage so it's completely understandable and excusable to treat others like garbage? I simply can't wrap my head around that.

Treat others as you would like to be treated is still a great rule to live by.

Treating others with kindness and respect actually shows healing. It shows a healthy view towards others instead of a life filled with self absorption and self pity. While being an angry brat may feel good and 'powerful', it's not. It self demeaning and will get you nowhere fast.

And that's my rant for the day! Have a great one and be kind to one another!